Waiting

I am ready to go....or so I think. My heart is hurting to go into an orphanage and take out at least one, if not two babies to bring home and be OURS. To be a mommy to a little princess and a little prince, or two little princesses, or who knows but my Father....Who also knows I must not be as ready as I think. For He continues to tell me I must wait. So we are waiting. Waiting for money, yes. But I think perhaps more, He knows there are things in my heart, in my life that need to be refined. More to give up and let go of before I am REALLY ready. I KNOW He is beckoning me trust Him. He is showing me around every bend. In the music I listen to, He whispers, "I am here, I am taking care of this for you. I know your heart is aching to hold them, to love them, to bring them home." In the quite minutes in the morning, though few they are, when the TWO of us sit there in the silence, He tells me, "Seek ME. I am taking care of all the other things, just SEEK ME!"

Father, make me clean, refined, beautiful in YOUR sight. Show me what I hold on to that keeps me from being most useful to YOU. Make my heart your home and break my heart for the things that break YOUR heart. I praise You, Father, that we are not walking this journey alone. You have ordained our steps and the paths that we take. You are with us, You are for us, and You love ALL of our babies more than we could possibly imagine. Help us to see You, to trust You, and to walk in YOUR way and not our own. Be glorified in our lives. I love you, Father. I WILL trust YOU.

Some Light

I can see some light at the end of the this tunnel. It is a LONG way away, but after some serious number crunching I see some light. Like I said, it is still VERY far away, but it is good to have a glimpse. Of course, this is all with my human planning. I very seriously believe that God is in control of this situation and laughs that I even consider having a "plan" that stretches so far into the future. He could provide the money we need tomorrow if He wants to. So we will wait and see what His beautiful plan is for us on this journey.